


Even After

by rightafterscribe



Series: After [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Other, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:54:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25082686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rightafterscribe/pseuds/rightafterscribe
Summary: What is going on in May's head after the battle on the football field in 2x13
Relationships: Melinda May & Skye | Daisy Johnson, Phil Coulson & Skye | Daisy Johnson
Series: After [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1813957
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21





	Even After

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on FF.net I was wondering what could have happened between the end of 2x13 and 2x14 to make May think Skye needed to leave Shield.

I don't know what to do.

Things have gone from bad, to worse, to down right frightening. Now my girl is injuring herself. Turning her powers inward and taking the brunt of the earthquakes. It's not often I'd consider anyone with 75 hairline fractures and ruptured capillaries lucky, but I keep thinking of how much worse it could have been. She could barely move her arms after tonight's events.

Watching her pass out on the football field, knowing I couldn't be there before she hit the ground...  
Twice in the last week I've watched the light leave her eyes and her body crumple. Twice in the last week I thought her heart stopped in her chest. Twice in the last week, for those moments I thought hers had, I know mine did.

Things are as calm as they can be for the moment. Skye's asleep in the cage, Andrew has left and I finally have a second to grab a shower.  
I had Simmons transfer Skye's vitals to my tablet again so I'll know if her stats spike. I want to be able to go to her the second I know something is wrong. I want to be able to help calm her down. Which I know will take much longer now because we have to make sure she is actually stopping the quakes and not turning them inward.

I turn on the water as hot as it will go and step under the spray. For a second I let myself feel everything, and it hurts. It hurts so much I don't think I can stand it.  
I take a deep breath, focus on a single point and try to let my emotions disappear into the background.

The image of Skye collapsing on the field flashes in my mind. Not being able to get to her fast enough.

I take another deep breath and try to push the images and emotions back as far as I can.

I can't let her see how truly scared I am. I have to be strong for her, I have to be strong for all of them.

Another deep breath, calming my thoughts tonight is more difficult than it should be.

Andrew recommended Skye leave Shield immediately.

Still another deep breath, shakier then the others.

Andrew thinks it's too dangerous for her to be here. Emotionally, physically...

A shallow breath this time. Focus! Focus, I tell myself. Focus.

Just like I told Skye the first time I witnessed the quakes.

A even shallower breath. I tell myself to stop. Stop the emotions from taking control.

Just like I told Skye when her nightmares shook the bus.

Simply breathing is becoming difficult.

I tried to get Skye to bury her emotions too.

I swallow, I'm starting to lose control of my breathing.Images flash through my mind in rapid succession.

Skye's face when I let her leave with Ward.

Phil's face when he went in after her.

Skye's face when we found her in the cavern.

The faces of the team when we told them we lost Trip.

Skye's face when she lost control the first time.

Sif's attempt to take Skye.

The Kree attacking Coulson.

Skye's body hitting the bed after the ICER.

Skye trembling when I held her at gun point.

Fighting the other gifteds.

Skye falling to the field again.

Coulson excusing himself to his office after we got back.

Skye in pain when she woke up.

Over and over again the images dance behind my eyes and I cannot push everything coursing through my veins to the side any more. I'm gasping for breath, I'm trembling all over. More than my normal level of guilt is racing through me with every beat of my pounding heart.

Everything that's happened is my fault.

The bruises on Skye's arms, her broken bones, the pain she's in.

I did that to her, I taught her how to internalize things...I almost killed her. I could still kill her. I can't let that happen.

And that's when I realize it. Andrew was right, it's too dangerous for her to be here.We don't need protection from her, she needs to be protected from me.  
The water has run cold, just like the realization that crept up on me...

Skye has to leave Shield.


End file.
